INTRODUCTION:
Motherhood is the hardest job in the world. We've all heard it. But is it? I've had jobs since I was 14, some that were pretty hard. I mean, in what other job do they ask you in a condescending tone what you do all day? Who created this idea? Who benefits from it? Not SAHMs. Not me.
Motherhood is not the hardest job in the world. Motherhood is not a job at all. Think I'm wrong? Check out some of my reasons, and tell me that again!
1: Did you sleep here?
Did you go home last night? After 8 hours, right? Psh! Moms don't go home. Moms live at work. Most especially those of us who are co-sleeping. My boss sleeps in my bed, tantrums and sleep regression included and he is a thrasher. I can almost you're allowed to leave work. Unless your boss sleeps over too, no judgment. Well, a little judgment.
2: Can I come with?
Does your boss invite herself on your lunch break? Moms get that too. Except you get a lunch break, whether you take it or not, and I'm currently drinking some apple sauce because my boss is teething, and not sleeping and he thinks naps are beneath him. Did you get a shower today? I haven't (yet?) because my boss has to come with me. He hates his $$ crib, his wonderful toys and his under water theme mobile which is supposed to lull him to sleep. Nope.
3: Speaking of your bathroom...
You go to the bathroom alone. Mostly moms don't. Imagine if your boss was like: " where you going? oh, the bathroom? Can I come too? I could just sit on your lap and fuss? Oh, number 2? Well, I don't see how that really changes anything. In fact, I have a surprise for you and it's working it's way up my back-you know what? Maybe you should just wait. "
4: Whatcha Watchin'?
You know how sometimes after work, you want to just throw on your sweats and veg out in front of your TV? Yeah, that doesn't exist for moms. Hope you like DinosaurTrain, WordWorld and SuperWhy. Because you aren't watching Criminal Minds with a baby. You might as well cancel HBO.
5: Guilt Trip
The most important way that motherhood isn't a job is that no other job comes with the judgment of a lot of society. In case you don't know, let me introduce you to a subsection of The Mommy Wars. Most of society, at least the parentally inclined, have heard that breastfeeding is best. Sometimes, moms aren't able to usually through no fault of their own, some bodies just don't produce enough to feed a child, it's just the luck of the draw. Those lovely ladies give their babies formula and get to deal with the judgment of others. Usually people who have never tried what they're advising. Oh, and if you do get lucky enough to breastfeed well, you better stop at 6 months, you don't want people thinking you're weird and confronting you in front of your kid. Because people do that. I assume they don't do that at your job. They didn't at mine. Unless you're The President. In which case, thanks, Obama!
CONCLUSION:
My point is that jobs come and go, usually require about 40-50 hours of commitment a week and you get a break. And pay. And vacation. Motherhood is 24 hours a day 7 days a week, non stop, no sick days all while being judged by people near to your life and far. Motherhood is explaining yourself before people ask and knowing the scientific publications on your choices so you can defend them. No one else goes through that. This isn't a job. This is something you will always be now. And it is awesome.